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7.2/10 A long time ago, far away on the planet of Cybertron, a war is being waged between the noble Autobots (led by the wise Optimus Prime) and the devious Decepticons (commanded by the dreaded Megatron) for control over the Allspark, a mystical talisman that would grant unlimited power to whoever possesses it. The Autobots managed to smuggle the Allspark off the planet, but Megatron blasts off in search of it. He eventually tracks it to the planet of Earth (circa 1850), but his reckless desire for power sends him right into the Arctic Ocean, and the sheer cold forces him into a paralyzed state. His body is later found by Captain Archibald Witwicky, but before going into a comatose state Megatron uses the last of his energy to engrave into the Captain’s glasses a map showing the location of the Allspark, and to send a transmission to Cybertron. Megatron is then carried away aboard the Captain’s ship.
An ancient struggle reerupts on Earth between two extraterrestrial clans, the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, with a clue to the ultimate power held by a young teenager.Dir: Michael Bay With: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel Action | Sci-Fi | Thriller
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Now that’s out of the way, there’s a lot of stuff here that works and a lot that doesn’t. It’s a good thing that the robots do work. Seeing autobots and decepticons in glorious photo-realistic CGI is enough to wring out any childhood fantasy from anybody (not just boys from the 80s). Watching these robots move is to realize a revelation to what is possible with modern movie effects. Whether it’s transforming on the move, bashing the living daylights out of each other, or just standing and talking, these guys alone make the movie work. And unlike the other blockbusters that have came out this year, these effects have a sense of weight that adds so much to the visual satisfaction.
As for everything else, well… that’s when things start to go downhill. In typical epic fashion, this movie contains a sprawling cast. Along with this however, are a large number of writing and acting issues. With such a large number of underdeveloped characters, names are pretty much luxury. Also, most of the human related humor gags miss badly, which makes it hurt more considering a lot of the characters were unnecessary. Jon Voight’s Secretary of Defense character completely baffles me, which makes me think that audiences responded positively to the President in Independence Day doing aerial dogfights. Any positives from the supporting cast (including the strange yet entertaining overacting of John Turturro) are outweighed by the large set of negatives.