We imagined the future nonsense of Elon Musk at Twitter

Paid accounts, certification without identity verification, double badge, publication of long messages, addition of functions at the request of his fans… Elon Musk is turning everything upside down at Twitter. To end the week with a smile, the editorial staff of Numerama had fun imagining several crazy changes.

You would think that Elon Musk would be reasonable once he arrived at Twitter, but that’s not the case. Unleashed, the billionaire is talked about every day by multiplying the announcements, even if it means going back a few hours later. One of the first changes announced was the launch of a new paid formula with certification included, without identity verification, which earned him a lot of criticism. Elon Musk then submitted plenty of ideas, such as posting long messages, launching a YouTube competitor, bringing Vine back or uploading videos. We also mentioned a paywall system, which would allow you to pay to see tweets (for pornographic content, for example). All this in just 10 days.

At Numerama, we regularly have fun discussing future changes that Elon Musk could make. In this humorous article, here is the best-of of our worst ideas.

(Warning, in the era of the fake that looks like the real thing, we prefer to insist on the fact that everything written here is fake).

Elon Musk admits it himself, Twitter will do a lot of “dumb things” in the coming months.

The crazy ideas that Elon Musk could have

Selling multiple badges, to look cool

Twitter doesn’t make a lot of money and Elon Musk wants to change that. With his $8 per month subscription, the billionaire has already started to monetize the service. He likes to ask everyone who criticizes him for $8 and jokes that he will ban people who misuse their certified account, while keeping their money.

What can he do to make even more money? The introduction of a second gray badge, for official accounts, gave us ideas. What if Elon Musk allowed brands to sell badges for their fans, taking a commission? We could then pay for lots of badges on Twitter, and fill the billionaire’s coffers. Our colleague Raphael Grably, from BFMTV, had fun imagining what it might look like.

Fart sounds in tweets

One of Elon Musk’s favorite jokes is the fart noises. Tesla vehicles have an option to “fart” each time the horn is pressed. It’s hard not to imagine the billionaire adding the ability to tweet noises, like a prout.

A $999 monthly “Twitter God” subscription so you can ban people

After Twitter Blue at 8 dollars, we can imagine Elon Musk launching more expensive formulas. In addition to an ad-free version, which might actually be a good idea, why not launch a super-powered version to give superpowers to the rich (Elon Musk says he wants to give power back to the people, but his first decision was to offer exclusive functions to those who have money).

Banning people you don’t like for money is an idea that the billionaire might like. After all, Elon Musk now has all the power.

A bird in space, for a publicity stunt

After the Tesla Roadster in space, sent by a SpaceX rocket, will Elon Musk offer a publicity stunt to Twitter by sending the social network into space? It could send a giant tweet into orbit… or send a little blue bird. Knowing him, we imagine that he already has this idea in mind.

Starman and his vehicle in space, in 2018. // Source: Wikimedia/CC/SpaceX

Redeem Truth and Speak, in the name of freedom of expression

A few weeks ago, Elon Musk had fun publishing a slightly photoshopped photo of the three musketeers (before deleting it). She showed it alongside Donald Trump and Kanye West, the two other defenders of freedom of expression according to him. It just so happens that the former American president created TRUTH Social, a competitor of Twitter, and that Kanye West wishes to buy Parler, the Twitter of the American conservative right.

If Elon Musk wants to make Twitter the reference platform, getting closer to his two rivals seems logical. Will there be an alliance between Elon, Kanye and Donald?

Montage published by Elon Musk when Kanye West bought out Parler.  // Source: Tweet deleted
Montage published by Elon Musk when Kanye West bought out Parler. // Source: Tweet deleted

Twitter encrypted like Canal+?

Last crazy idea, inspired by a real rumor: a blurry Twitter after a few minutes. According to The Verge, Elon Musk would think about making Twitter free for only a few hours a month, in order to charge people who use it a lot.

The encrypted Twitter homepage might look like this, but does Elon Musk know Canal+?  // Source: Numerama
The encrypted Twitter homepage might look like this, but does Elon Musk know Canal+? // Source: Numerama

Why not go further by taking inspiration from Canal+? Twitter could be free for 5 minutes, then all scrambled afterwards? The Twitter+ formula would then make it possible to unlock the social network.

Will any of these ideas see the light of day? We doubt it. But since taking office, Elon Musk has proven to be very unpredictable.

For further

Elon Musk / Twitter // Source: Numerama

Leave a Comment